Leave it to cleavage (episode)
Transcript thumb|right|400pxGood evening, complete strangers. It's June 14th 2007. There were a lot of boobs at work today. "Well hello there, welcome to music." "Hi." "How are you? What can I get you today?" of Craig's internal monologue while the female customer can be heard babbling in the background. Good greeting, Craig. Oh no. Are those boobs in your peripheral vision? Don't look at the boobs. Do not look at the boobs. Do not look at the boobs. No! Do not look at those big beautiful luscious boobs. Aaaagh. ''breathing Voiceover: ''Good thing you're wearing your apron. Better get out of here. customer continues to babble even though the waiter has left. Did you know that if you look "breast" up on Wikipedia, it shows pictures of breasts. I remember when I was young I used to have to stay up really late watching USA Up All Night, hoping they would screw up and slip a boob in there somewhere. They never did. Nowadays all you gotta do is type in "boob" and you're knee deep in nipples. throat Housekeeping. There was one comment from two days ago that I neglected to respond to. Some strange young chap by the name of M. Josef Weber wondered where he could get a Benzine t-shirt. Well, this is the only Benzine t-shirt currently in existence. It was designed by Ashleigh. All you need to do is pay my rent this month and it's yours. Or ... show me a nipple. I'm just kidding. This isn't that type of blog. Unless ... uh... you want to show me your nipple... that's cool. Just send a picture to cgbenzine at hotmail dot com. Gluebrass says, "I'm considering a new hairstyle. I'm not limited to traditional male styles. What would you suggest?" Well, Gluebrass, when I get sick of a certain hairstyle, you know what I do? Get drunk! a beer Hey! beer on his head and rubs it into his hair I hope that works out for you, Gluebrass. Doodleman would like a tour of my apartment. plays while the camera goes from the outside of Craig's building, up the stairs, to his door. Craig opens the door to greet it. Hey! Welcome! Come on in! Yeah, just hanging out, man. That's my friend over there, JB. He says the funniest things. What do you say, JB? mocks and imitates Craig: What do you say JB? Come on, I'll show you my bathroom. This is where I poop and pee. I like to shower with my clothes on. into the shower and turns the water on. Yeah! Woo! Follow me to my bedroom! Let's go! Hey JB! Isn't that my shirt? mocks and imitates Craig: Isn't that my shirt? This is the editing suite. computers have pictures of boobs on them. Pretty sweet, huh? And over here is the dark corner in which I brood. Broods. Like that! This in here is the room where I keep my ex-girlfriend's gifts. The ones that I buy for when she comes back to me. Ah, juiceface. Hey! Let's check out my fridge! Alright! We got some mustard, some cheese, we got the fire alarm. Long story. Hey, it's my ex-girlfriend's cold dead heart. I'll take it out of the fridge when it's ready to thaw. freezer. Takes out a chess board. Makes a move. Puts it back in. See, look, this is where I keep all my cleaning products. the oven and pulls out a bottle of cleaning product. Oh, who left the gas on? Well, I guess that concludes our tour. leaves the apartment, goes down the stairs and back outside. Okay, I'm working on a good way to conclude my movies. "Thank you for watching Wheezy Waiter. Are you ready for dessert?" Wow, that's lame. "Thank you for watching Wheezy Waiter. Come again." Oooh! "Thank you for watching Wheezy Waiter. Remember... tips are 20%." Oh, my god. "Thank you for watching Wheezy Waiter." ...I'll work on it. Oh, yeah, and we just say "It's a Crazy Crazy Crazy ... There Are A Bunch of Different Types of Customers." ding Recurring themes This is the first appearance of Wheezy's roommate, JB, who appears in several of these early episodes. Recurring themes previously introduced that recur in this video: Clone, music replaces restaurant name, Wikipedia, Benzine t-shirt, Get drunk!, "It's a Crazy Crazy Crazy ... There Are A Bunch of Different Types of Customers". Trivia The M. Josef Weber that Wheezy refers to is Matt Weber, a member of Craig's band Driftless Pony Club, who appears in quite a few Wheezy Waiter videos later on. Category:Episodes